How “Fake It Till You Make It” and “Act As If” Failed Me
We’re told that if we just fake it till we make it, or act as if success has already arrived, everything will eventually fall into place. For me, that advice didn’t just fall short. It backfired and hurt my business.
Why Acting “As If” Doesn’t Work in Real Life
At first, these mantras seemed harmless. They gave me hope that abundance was only a matter of mindset. But living from that mindset created the opposite of abundance.
In one year, my business expenses totaled $3,500. Across several years in business, my lifetime earnings added up to less than that single year of costs. The math does not lie. The bank account and the credit card statements don’t lie.
I invested in programs that promised to heal my money blocks. I paid for strategies that swore I would attract clients with ease. I filled journals with affirmations like “I attract wealth with ease” and “Everything works out for my highest good.”
And yet, nothing worked.
In this post, you will learn:
Why “fake it till you make it” and “act as if” create more harm than momentum.
How to recognize when positive thinking becomes a trap.
One way to reclaim clarity and act from truth instead of pretense.
The Cost of Pretending
Acting as if I was already successful led me to spend money I did not have, based on promises that the universe would reward my faith. Affirmations gave me momentary relief, but that hope always collapsed into despair when the numbers did not add up.
“Pretending is not strategy; honesty is.”
The longer I followed this advice to pretend that I was already successful, the more unsupported and frustrated I felt. I began to wonder if I was the problem. If I was too broken to manifest what everyone else seemed to be receiving. That is the hidden cost of this mindset: Not only financial strain, but deep self-doubt. It left me at a loss, emotionally, literally, and figuratively.
What Actually Brought Me Peace
The most honest answer came in an ordinary moment. I was at my best friend Sam’s house, drinking, talking through the hard stuff, and knowing I didn’t have to drive home. I felt safe. I felt connected. I felt at peace.
That night taught me what actually matters:
Connection.
Rest.
Support I do not have to earn or fake.
Soul-searching is not about pretending you already have what you want. It is about telling the truth about what you do not have and what you really need. But we’re told that attempting to sell from a place of need won’t be successful. What I know for sure is that attempting to sell from a place of acting as if I were already successful failed me.
The Hidden Costs of Pretending
Looking back, I can see that the problem was not only emotional. It was financial and practical, too.
Opportunity Cost
Every dollar and every hour has a cost. By spending money on programs and tools that did not pay for themselves, I took resources away from the parts of my work that were already fertile. They were supposed to be “investments”. But the definition of investment includes that there must be a profitable return. The energy I poured into pretending abundance could have gone into building what was actually working.
Action: Track your time and money for the next two weeks. Notice where you’re pouring energy into something that is not feeding you back.
Loss Aversion
Letting go of intuitive business work felt like failure. I had spent years training, “investing”, and believing it would succeed. But the truth is, holding on was costing me more than releasing it. Loss aversion made me cling to something that was draining me.
Action: Write down the actual loss you have already absorbed. Then ask yourself: Does adding one more month of expenses deepen or end the loss?
These principles showed me the hidden costs of pretending. Clarity was not just about emotions; it was about numbers and boundaries.
The Way Forward
“Fake it till you make it” failed me. Horribly. So did “act as if.” They told me to invest from a future that was not here yet. They told me to spend like someone I was not.
The way forward is simpler: Act from where you really are. Acknowledge what feels unsustainable. Set boundaries around what you will and will not allow. Be brutally honest about the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
That is where something real begins.
Try This for Yourself
If “fake it till you make it” or “act as if” has left you drained too, here are a few ways to cut through the noise and reconnect with what is real for you:
Two Journal Prompts:
What truth about my business results am I avoiding because it feels safer to act as if?
What would change if I acted from where I actually am, not where I hope to be?
One AI Reflection Exercise:
If you are open to it, paste your honest answer to those prompts into an AI chat and ask: “Reflect this back to me without hype or exaggeration.” Sometimes seeing your words mirrored without spin makes the truth sharper and easier to act on.
This is not about faking anything. It is about clarity. Because clarity, not pretending, is where real change begins.
